The Great Muppet Caper

The Great Muppet Caper is a 1981 American British mystery musical comedy film in which Kermit the Frog, Fozzie Bear and Gonzo are reporters who travel to Britain to interview a rich victim of jewel thieves and help her along with her secretary, Miss Piggy. Directed by Jim Henson. Written by Jerry Juhl, Tom Patchett, Jack Rose, and Jay Tarses. Miss Piggy [to Nicky] You! It was you! Kermit was right! You are bulking! You are talking! Yes, you are! And you know what, you can't even sing! Your voice was dubbed! Next time they want stunts, they get a double. Dialogue [First lines] Kermit the Frog: [in a hot air balloon] Pretty nice up here, isn't it? Fozzie Bear: Kermit? What if we drift out to sea? What if we're never heard from again? What if there's a storm? Or - we get struck by lightning? Gonzo: That would be neat. Kermit the Frog: Listen, nothing's going to happen. These are just the opening credits. Fozzie Bear: Oh. Where are they? [title card appears] Wow! Kermit the Frog: The Great Muppet Caper. Fozzie Bear: Nice title. Fozzie Bear: [pleading] We'll do better next time. News Editor: Next time? Next time?! [pounds fist into desk] What makes you think there's gonna be a next time? Kermit the Frog: Well, if there isn't, it's gonna be a real short movie. Fozzie Bear: What does "BSC" stand for? Kermit the Frog: I don't know. [Lady Holiday has just given Miss Piggy the entire backstory for the movie] Miss Piggy: Why are you telling me all this? Lady Holiday: It's plot exposition. It has to go somewhere. [Kermit is sitting on a bench; a man and his daughter, Jerry Nelson and Christine, walk by] Christine: Look, Dad. There's a bear. Jerry Nelson: No, Christine, that's a frog. People wear hats. Miss Piggy: Please don't go. Kermit, please. Oh, please, I'm sorry. Please! Please! Kermit the Frog: Piggy, hold it. Miss Piggy: Please! Please! Please! Kermit the Frog: Miss Piggy...? Miss Piggy? You're overacting. Miss Piggy: ...What? Kermit the Frog: You'e overacting. You're having it up. Miss Piggy: I am not. I am trying to save this movie. Kermit the Frog: [getting annoyed] Oh, yeah? Well, save your performance instead. Miss Piggy: I am playing eight hundred different emotions! Kermit the Frog: Well, try to play one of them right. Miss Piggy: Oh, oh! I have a career of my own. Kermit the Frog: I know all about your career, Pig. Miss Piggy: I don't need this lousy duck pond. Kermit the Frog: Sure, you don't need a lousy duck pond. Miss Piggy: I will just walk. Kermit the Frog: [angrily] OK, sure. Go ahead and walk. Miss Piggy: [briefly turning to the camera] Should I walk? Then I'll walk! Kermit the Frog: Walk! Go ahead and walk! [Miss Piggy turns away and whimpers] Oh, Miss Piggy. [sighs] Listen. Miss Piggy: [in tears] I'm doing my best. Kermit the Frog: Well... I know you are. [moves in to comfort her] Piggy, I'm sorry. We got to get back to the movie, though. Miss Piggy: [trying to collect herself] All right. All right, all right, all right. [heaves a heavy sigh and resumes acting] Nicky Holiday: Miss Piggy...You're a very different looking woman. I'm so tired of the same type, those tall thin creatures with the long legs, the aquiline noses, the teeth like pearls, soft skin... Miss Piggy: Yeah, well, I can see where that might make you sick to your stomach. Kermit the Frog: [to Cops got Miss Piggy takes her away] Don't worry Miss Piggy, will you get out of this?! Kermit the Frog: Now if we want to get Miss Piggy out of jail, we're going to have to catch those thieves red-handed. [Beauregard raises his hand] Yes, Beau? Beauregard: What color are their hands now? Miss Piggy: [to the truck driver] Do you know where Lady Holliday's Baseball Diamond is being kept? Truck Driver: Well, funny enough, I do: it's at the Mallory Gallery, a virtually impregnable fortress many miles from here. Miss Piggy: Oh! I only have a half an hour to get there! Truck Driver: On foot? You'll never make it. Miss Piggy: I know! How about a ride? Truck Driver: You can read, I presume? "No passengers." [points to the sticker on the truck's door] Miss Piggy: Oh, could you make an exception for little old moi? Truck Driver: Not even for little old vous. [laughs] Miss Piggy: Pretty please? Truck Driver: No! Miss Piggy: [strained] I've tried to be nice. Truck Driver: Huh? Miss Piggy: Hii-yahh! [throws the driver out of his truck and into the garbage cans] Oscar the Grouch: [emerges from a trash can] Hey, what's all the racket? Truck Driver: What are you doing here? Oscar the Grouch: A very brief cameo. Truck Driver: Me too. [Nicky has just captured the Baseball Diamond and Kermit, pulling a gun on the other Muppets] Kermit the Frog: But, Nicky, Why are you doing this? Nicky Holiday: Why am I doing this? Because I'm a villain, pure and simple. Statler: Well i say, All's well that ends well. Waldorf: Well, it doesn't matter to me, as belong as it ends. Cast Charles Grodin - Nicky Holiday Diana Rigg - Lady Holiday Erica Creer - Marla Kate Howard - Carla Della Finch - Darla Joan Sanderson - Dorcas Michael Robbins - Henderson Peter Hughes - Stanley Peggy Aitchison - a guard Tommy Godfrey - a bus conductor (final film role) The Muppet performers Jim Henson - Kermit the Frog, Timmy Monster, Rowlf the Dog, Dr. Teeth, Waldorf, The Swedish Chef, The Newsman and Lubbock Lou Frank Oz - Fozzie Bear, Miss Piggy, Animal, Sam the Eagle and Gramps Jerry Nelson - Crazy Harry, Floyd Pepper, Pops, Lew Zealand and Slim Wilson Richard Hunt - Scooter, Statler, Boppity, Janice, Sweetums and Bubba Dave Goelz - The Great Gonzo, Beaker, Luncheon Counter Monster, Beauregard, Zoot and Dr. Bunsen Honeydew Steve Whitmire - Robin the Frog, Rizzo the Rat, Louis Kazagger, Lips and Zeke Louise Gold as Annie Sue Pig and Lou Guest stars Caroll Spinney as Oscar the Grouch from Sesame Street John Cleese as Neville, a middle-aged British homeowner who lives with his wife Dorcas at 17 Highbrow Street. Peter Falk - a Man in Park Robert Morley - a British Gentleman by Pond Jack Warden - Mike Tarkenian, the editor-in-chief of The Daily Chronicle. Peter Ustinov - a Truck Driver External links 0082474 The Great Muppet Caper great_muppet_caper The Great Muppet Caper Category:1981 American films Category:Comedy films Category:Musical comedy films Category:Mystery films Category:Independent films Category:Films set in hotels Category:The Muppets films Category:Films directed by Jim Henson