Sexual Health/Abstinence

Abstinence is the practice of not engaging in sexual behavior ("abstaining" from it). Just as there are many forms of sexual behavior, there are many forms of abstinence. People choose abstinence for a variety of reasons, and can change their minds at different times in their lives. What is Abstinence? Sexual abstinence can be practiced in different ways, but most frequently it is the avoidance of sexual intercourse with a partner. Abstinence usually includes avoiding vaginal intercourse. Sometimes people also exclude oral and/or anal sex as well. One reason for abstinence is to avoid pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections. Pregnancy is best prevented by the use of contraceptives, which are often more reliable than persisting in the choice of abstinence. To use abstinence to protect against pregnancy, no sexual contact that could allow sperm to enter the vagina can be engaged in - vaginal sex has the highest risk of pregnancy, but leakage of sperm from anal sex or contact with sperm from non-penetrative sex ('frotting') can lead to pregnancy. To use abstinence to protect against sexual transmission of diseases, anal, vaginal, and oral sex would all be avoided. Also, many sexually transmitted diseases, most importantly AIDS, can be transmitted through exposure to infected blood. Different religious traditions and cultures suggest different rules for young people. In some cultures, people are expected to abstain from sex -- to avoid most forms of sexual contact -- before marriage, and then to not abstain after marriage. There are thousands of variations of these rules, which have evolved from antiquity, and the rules that each person's family may have grown up with are not the only possible rules for them (or anyone else) to follow. The earliest rules were based on treating women as the property of men, a behavior that has become intolerable to women in most of the world today. Other rules evolved as attempts to enforce that a man who impregnates a woman will continue to support the woman and child throughout the child's early life. Modern understandings and technologies, such as birth control, vaccines, and antibiotics, have significantly altered these rules in many cultures. Abstinent people sometimes masturbate alone, or practice mutual masturbation with another person without contact. Anal sex may carry a higher STD transmission risk than vaginal and oral sex. If a person practices abstinence by engaging in anal sex when they would otherwise have engaged in vaginal or oral, they will raise their risk of contracting an STD (if their partner or partners are infected). Virginity People who have never had sex are called virgins. As different people have different opinions as to what constitutes sex, some people may consider themselves virgins even if they have had some forms of sex. Also, some people who have had sex previously, but are now waiting until marriage to have sex again refer to themselves as born again virgins, and some people use the term lapsed virgin or non-practicing virgin to refer to a person who engages in sexual activity. Romance and Abstinence It is very possible to maintain a lasting romantic relationship and remain abstinent. Some people following this path choose to wait until marriage to have sexual intercourse with their partner for the first time. (However, when cultural customs allow it, it is often better for the couple to have sex before they marry, to determine that they are sexually compatible, rather than sadly finding out after marriage that they cannot have a satisfying sexual relationship.) People who were previously abstinent are still not immune to risk of disease, and such couples should test themselves for STDs before engaging in sex for the first time with their partners. It is possible for an abstinent person to have contracted an STD, which can be passed to their partner after they are married. This could have occurred at birth, or from another event, such as exposure to infected blood (blood transfusions were common culprits historically, but now all blood donated is tested for disease), sexual activity that happened before they began practicing abstinence, or anal or oral sexual activity. People who are married may still use birth control methods to prevent pregnancies after marriage (at times when they don't want to get pregnant). Even couples that are sexually active may practice abstinence at times. Certain medical conditions may make intercourse difficult, painful, or unsafe, for example. Also, couples that try to use fertility awareness for birth control must practice abstinence while the woman is fertile. (Fertility awareness as a means of birth control is unreliable at preventing pregnancy, especially in women with irregular menstrual cycles.) Instead of having sex, abstinent people can bond in other romantic ways, such as cuddling, hugging or kissing. They can also express their feelings for each other verbally, instead of relying only on touch to convey affection.